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What Do You Think Was Going On Here?
By Fr. Dennis | March 12, 2006
I witnessed something yesterday that I had not power to effect one way or the other, and I’m going to recount it and provide some context, but I’m going to try not to comment. And even though it’s almost impossible to contexualize something without revealilng a bias, I’ll do my best. I am interested, however, if my readers have any thoughts on what I witnessed.
As you’ll recall, I was at the retreat yesterday for the parents of the children who will be receiving first communion in April.
After the parents had just spent 5 hours doing retreat exercises and listening to talks about Communion and the sacramental life as part of a program that was scheduled to last 4 hours, the DRE for the Hispanic ministry told the participants that 1st Communion would take place on April 23, and that on April 22 there was another required retreat day for the kids and the parents together. Keep in mind this ministry takes place in the context of the immigrant Hispanic community, where most families have both parents working 6 days a week in order to scratch out a living.
When one of the parents objected, saying that this was new information to them, and that it would be very hard to get time off from work and other responsibilites for a second retreat, the DRE explained that if there were any child that did not attend AND have at least one parent present with him or her, that child would be barred from receiving first Communion.
The parents were upset, some almost shouting, most murmuring to each other and shaking their heads. As they were all getting ready to leave, the DRE stood in front of the doorway of the main exit of the building as she answered objections. No one could leave for 20 minutes while she defended her decision and her authority to make it, and while some parents raised objections and others patiently waited for an opportunity to exit.
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March 12th, 2006 at 9:35 pm
Basically, we have a woman, who has no business being in an authoritative position. She can’t handle tough situations, mostly because she is a “she.” Next time get a guy DRE, and it won’t be a problem.
March 12th, 2006 at 10:31 pm
Thank, DB, but I have to disagree with you. A man is just as likely to make a mistake as a woman in this kind of position. I’m of a priest lorded his authority over people and drove off more than half the people in the parish in a space of about 10 years. It’s not the gender. There’s something else going on.
March 13th, 2006 at 11:19 am
Hmm…Sounds like the DRE needs a little more training on handling the pastoral side of her job. Any idea what the purpose of this second retreat was supposed to be? If it really has a purpose, I’ll bet there are many other ways of carrying it out. I gotta wonder where the pastor is in this.
March 14th, 2006 at 2:38 am
It is the pastor
March 14th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
The woman was being very inflexible and very insensitive. She should be more understanding, especially since it involves a job that the parent probably cannot miss.
That being said, this policy probably has been put in place from years of trying to deal with parents complaining about the schedule.
I do not work with the First Communion nor the Confirmation programs, but I know that every year it is very difficult to accomodate everyone. I’m talking about a parish wherein the parents don’t usually have a problem getting off work. Usually, the complaints have to do with a missed soccer game or a missed vacation or missed ballet or cheerleader practice or….etc etc. The worst parents I’ve experienced want to do the minimum in order to punch their Sacrament ticket.
Then, don’t even get me started about their demands about the actual First Communion Mass.
“Why can’t one of the First Communicants lector? I just want to make the mass special for them!”