« Save the Planet (from Babies and such)! | Main | Homily for St. Andrew’s Feast on November 30 »
If They Might Be Giants Had a Song About the Great Schism
By Fr. Dennis | December 2, 2007
One of my favorite music acts of the last 20 years is a group called They Might Be Giants. They have something of a “cult” following in the music world, and a few of their songs are popular at our seminary pub, the Unstable, whenever our house band is playing. One of the songs we often hear at the Unstable is called “James K. Polk,” which is something of a junior high social studies lesson on his presidency. It’s a really funny song, if only because you don’t expect a history lesson to be the subject of a song.
A couple of years ago, a friend was saying that he’d like to write new lyrics that would tell the story of the Great Schism. Instead of singing “In 1844 the Democrats were split,” it would begin “In 1054 the Catholic Church was split…”
Well, when I woke up this morning, the lyrics popped into my head. Here they are, for the first time.
In 1054, the Christian Church was split
Between the Orthodox East and the Roman Pontificate
Over whether the Holy Spirit proceeded
from the Father and the Son (CATHOLIC!)
Or from the Father alone (ORTHODOX!)
And over whether the pope could clarify the Creed
To squash a heresy and meet pastoral need.
It was the Great Schism between the East and West.The Pope’s messenger to Constantinople
Told the Patriarch “Give in or the Pope will
Excommunicate you from the Catholic Church
And you will go to hell,
And all your followers as well.”
And the Patriarch sent the same message to the Pope.
And by this time the Church had little hope
Against the Great Schism between the East and West.Today the Orthodox and Catholics
Meet from time to time to try to fix
The division within the Body of Christ,
A scandal to the world,
So every Christian boy and girl
Ought to pray for Christian unity today.
Cuz a thousand years is far too long to say:
“We have this Great Schism and the Church hopes to recover
The unity between the East and West.”
Topics: History, Seminary Life, Theology, humor |
December 2nd, 2007 at 10:51 am
Curiously, the city of Constantinople figures in this song. Now, you know that Istanbul was Constantinople, now it’s Istanbul, *not* Constantinople.
So, if you’ve got a date in Constantinople - she’ll be waiting in Istanbul.
December 2nd, 2007 at 12:10 pm
John, if you ever take these lyrics into your studio, I’d love to hear the result.
December 2nd, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Nice!!!!!!
December 2nd, 2007 at 8:07 pm
I liked “They Might Be Giants” back when they wrote more nuanced, reflective material. Probably the best example of the more cerebral fare would be “Hot Dog” (which is the theme for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse).
You can just feel the existential angst in the carefully crafted lyrics: “Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog, now we’ve got ears, it’s time for cheers!”
December 3rd, 2007 at 12:46 pm
“So, if you’ve got a date in Constantinople - she’ll be waiting in Istanbul.”
You know, people always ask me, why did Constantinople gets the works? And I always tell them, that’s nobody’s business but the Turks.
December 3rd, 2007 at 5:13 pm
and I still like the giants … I think they are very creative.
Even an old fogy can appreciate genius - speaking of which, your ditty on the great schism is good, too. I would have stuck the word ‘filioque’ in there someplace.
December 4th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
I was trying to sing along with it; it’s a little tougher than the original. TMBG are still making great music; a couple samey sounding albums here and there lately, but Mink Car was brilliant and the new one sounds fresh.
I assume if you ever perform it at the Unstable that it’s only open to seminarians?
December 5th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
All those ants crawling up your back in the nighttime. Sheesh!
December 8th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Is outrage! Was funny pop song parodies in nineteenth century Russia?
P.S. One of my favorites is “They Might Be Giants”, the MOVIE, not the “band”. (”We’re meeting Moriarty at midnight!”)
December 26th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Wow, great job with the lyrics. I looooove TMBG so I can appreciate that.